crispyweave: do she got a booty? she dooooooooooooooo
i swear to god i’m outing the next closeted gay person to claim homophobia and start talking about how much gay people are ruining the world. i know nobody should ever be outed for any reason but i am SOOOOO FUCKING SICK OF THIS. IT’S THESE PEOPLE THAT ARE PASSING LEGISLATION AGAINST THE GAY COMMUNITY. can you say GEORGE REKERS? RICHARD CURTIS? CALEB HESSE GLENN MURPHY JR JIM...
lol randy has a plan-dy one more hangout this week. by the end of it, I guarantee you’ll have gone head over heels, wanting me badddd. so make plans with me, fool.
youuidiotkid: you’d think by now autocorrect would know i’m saying fucking and not ducking
partybarackisinthehousetonight: [preschool teacher voice] sticks and stones may break my bones but…. [preschool student voice] chains and whips excite me
-logs onto schoolloop- PreCalculus Final Exam Part 1: 91% A okay so far so gud -scrolls down- PreCalculus Final Exam Part 2: 21% F lol whoops
inbox: Think of the most attractive person you know. Now imagine them sitting on the toilet, having extreme diarrhea.
animehusband: yo this chicken is raw as fuck *dies from salmonella poisoning*
railroadsoftware: nosdrinker: oppa spongebob style thank god that tumblr has allowed me to email this post to all of my family members
rneerkat: i thought the beef was from a male cow but that was a miss steak
thisisb: Being in a relationship is kinda like Pokemon. If someone really wants to be with you they better have a lot of fuckin balls to catch you. You’re a fuckin rare legendary not some easy rattata.
svviffer: *ends my prayers with omg*
kenzis: so apparently kevin rudd changed his stance on gay marriage because of ‘a personal journey’ kev got the d
boygrimlark: scout-ebubbles: docot: freddybenson: leovaldezstyle: freddybenson: A B C the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours D E
iamonlydorb: sucysucyfivedolla: the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg oh no I’m not falling for this one again
claydols: damn you must be itunes because you are always not responding
richwhitelesbian: he’s makin a list checkin’ it twice! gonna find out if you’re middle class and white
fuckoffcats: i hate going to school because i always see people from school there
[[MORE]] actually though today’s already fucking horrible funny how my life was amazing like two weeks ago too wtf happened
who wants to tag me in my 10th senior will lol
I enjoy talking to you. Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind except...– George Orwell, 1984 (via temporary-highs)
[[MORE]] My mom’s not getting any retirement benefits/money whatsoever, and my dad’s barely getting any. As bad as this sounds, I don’t think either of them deserve my support. Up until last year, they’ve been nothing but shitty parents who fucked up their oldest child’s mental health. Because of them, I hurt myself for years. Because of them, I cry every 3-5...
really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
[[MORE]] please don’t leave my life this summer i can’t be alone this summer i really really really can’t please god let these four months be good